Additionally, the elderly men manage plan for both so you’re able to sleep-in one to house to have per night. After they note that little taken place on account of concern from the boy, brand new old men, using his sibling, manage plan out briefing lessons to inform the latest boy exactly who the fresh woman is so he would be to no longer hesitate away from girls and female. There was a familiar faith that ladies “bite” one of the young people, without one dares to express contrary views. For this reason faith, boys and you may girls don’t hurry on matrimony and you may, thus, they generally marry within age 31 or thirty-five.
The fresh new boy narrates to help you their bro every emails of girl he’s got adored and wish to of not less than around three, spanning the young people, their brother, and one cousin not his parents, visits new girl’s home so those two edges discover each almost every other really
Then, parents and uncles ( eni mbumba ) (the master of the youngsters) are often wanting to has the boy otherwise girl come across a beneficial appropriate relationship spouse. Although some of them methods are shrinking, it however function the main youth’s way to bringing ong the newest Chewa.
One of several Chewa , whenever a person shows relationship to a beneficial girl, it is not visible that they’ll marry instantly. You will find a procedure that involves uncles, aunties, mothers, chiefs, or other important members of the community. ” Even with being selecting the person, the lady does not state “yes” during the basic offer regarding man. The man must validate his condition from time to time before the girl nods towards offer. At this point, some men stop thinking the new girl isn’t in search of them.
With regards to the Chewa society, it’s incorrect for the girl to simply accept a married relationship proposal to start with connection with a person. The fresh new girl must delay invited to make certain that the woman is seen as the “good,” not eager, not simple, and somebody dudes can strive to own.
Acknowledging brand new suggestion from the initial exposure to the man are a good indication of tiredness on the girl. It indicators she is “cheap.” As well, if for example the man matches back to victory the newest girl shortly after a beneficial delay into the recognizing a suggestion, they indicators an effective marriage. Moreover it shows that the person was strong and durable adequate. Subsequent, they ensures one even when it deal with pressures in-marriage, each other could be sufficiently strong enough to deal with affairs.
At first, when the man matches new girl, the person states, “ Chemwali ndakukondani, n’kadakonda ndithu n’takukwatirani,” meaning “Woman, I favor you, and you will waiting to wed you
This course of action is known as “kufunsira mbeta,” meaning matrimony proposition . Spanish women date site If girl finally welcomes, the person provides the girl chikole ( anything real that woman otherwise a man can display someone else one she is interested). Popular circumstances used due to the fact chikole include mikanda (jewelry) , material feminine usually use to wrap more its brains, or any other question some thing. Supplying the lady chikole shows that the guy are intent on marrying the latest girl and you can prevents new girl out of becoming reached because of the almost every other guys getting matrimony proposals. When a separate man approache the lady, she shows the fresh chikole so you’re able to take off him away from continuous their advances.
Due to the fact girl accepts this new proposition, she suggests the guy to tell their particular cousin about this. As stated before, among the Chewa, the newest bro is known as mwini mbumba (owner of your own people on the clan). If man arranges to visit the new sibling of your own girl, the guy does not go alone. At first, they have to share with his buddy concerning the girl he has got recommended wedding in order to. After they arrive at the latest girl’s brother, their own buddy will also never be alone – they are constantly entered by most other members of the family of the girl however, not their particular mothers. So when the new boy’s group comes, they take part in conversations named malonje (introductions and welcoming reviews).
